


Sweater Weather

by slyferris (Ethsei)



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Crack, Fluff, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, i dont know what the fuck this is im sorry, this is absolute crack don't even try taking it seriously
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-30
Updated: 2014-12-22
Packaged: 2018-02-27 13:14:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2694425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ethsei/pseuds/slyferris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Changmin thinks Yunho has terrible taste in sweaters, and Yunho thinks Changmin is (and has) a giant dick. Somehow, they save a city.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1.

 

“Calling all superhero’s within the vicinity. We’ve got a jewel thief on the loose, last spotted running from Links of New York down through Madison Ave. and E 54th street. Suspect is a white male in his late twenties, approximately five foot eight, brown hair, blue eyes, wearing all black and carrying a brown duffle bag. He’s armed and dangerous, and we urge you to exercise caution when approaching the suspect.”

 

Yunho cracks his knuckles and steels his obnoxiously white trainers on the floor, crunching the gravel under his feet. He takes a deep breath and it smells a mix of old cigarette butts and exhaustion.

 

He’s ready to rumble.

 

He’s on the corner of 56th and Maddison, two blocks from the jewel store, so the thief can’t be far from him. He’s not gifted with super hearing or flying, so he has to find the criminal the old fashioned way—well, _his_ way. By taking a wild guess.

 

He runs towards the store, taking the back alleys, since that seems like the most appropriate place for a criminal to escape to. He runs for a bit then pauses when he hears hurried footsteps coming from the right passage way at the junction ahead. He pushes his back against the wall and peers around the corner. When he catches sight of the suspect, all in black, duffle bag included, Yunho starts his pursuit.

 

Yunho’s always been a fast runner with his long legs, and he cuts the suspect off in a corner, wedged between three brick buildings.

 

“This is Jung Yunho, part of the Special Superhero Corps. Drop your weapon and come with me quietly.”

 

The man widens his eyes and his breathing stops. “Superhero? _Jung_ Yunho?”

 

Yunho smirks.

 

The man half squeals--half screams, and pulls a gun from his jacket pocket, aiming it at Yunho’s head.

 

Yunho’s heart stops, and time slows around him. He’d kind of forgotten about the whole ‘dangerous and armed’ part of the mission. Yunho knows he really should have planned for this, but it’s too late now. He leaps to the ground just as he hears the gun go off, smacking into the gravel and scraping his face. His ears are ringing, and the smell of gunpowder is stinging his nose. He shakes his head and tries to breathe through the shock that’s whiting out his vision and hearing. It takes him less than ten seconds to orient himself, but by the time he’s on his feet, the criminal is already running and out of reach.

 

Yunho spins on his heel and bolts.

 

Or, _attempts_ to.

 

He trips over his own ankle and hurtles face first into the gravel. The robber high tails it around the corner, and Yunho lets out a deep groan. His nose is pouring with blood and it's dripping onto his favourite Superhero Sweater. He lets out a pained whine. It took him two weeks to knit this particular one.

 

He _so_ didn’t train five years in Superhero College for this.

 

He feels horribly dizzy but he scrambles onto his feet, scraping his hands on the gravel, and once again peruses the suspect. Logically he knows he should leave the capture to someone with the ability to avoid guns, like the metal bender Leeteuk, or the rock transformer, Kangin. But he’s desperate to prove that he _can_ make a successful arrest.

 

He’s _Jung_ Yunho, after all.

 

He follows the sound of the suspect’s footsteps, and ends up catching up without too much effort. Useless as he may be, he _is_ a good and fit runner. The suspect pauses at a chain link fence, and once he realizes he won’t be able to scale it, he whips around and faces Yunho again.

 

He thinks it might be time to use his special ability, but before he has the chance to unleash it, the criminal has the gun pointed at him again, and his aim looks far steadier than before.

 

Yunho gulps and raises his hands, spiking his fingers forward. He just hopes he can get to him in time.

 

Yunho blinks, and suddenly the criminals pinned to the ground by a man all painted in leather. The hero pushes the suspect’s cheek into the gravel, and he turns to look at Yunho. He’s wearing a mask covering his nose down, so he can’t quite identify who it is, but he looks tall and his eyes scream danger. His shirt scoops low under his leather jacket, and Yunho is a little bit ashamed to admit he’s kind of turned on by the display.

 

He thinks to himself that’s it’s an awfully inconvenient outfit to be catching criminals in to make himself feel better. The hero gets up and uses a steel capped boot with fancy laces to hold the criminal down by the neck. Yunho has to admit he’s a _little_ bit impressed.

 

That is, until the ‘stranger’ pulls his mask down around his neck.

 

“Well, well, well, who’ve we got here?”

 

Oh, yes, Yunho knows him well.

 

Shim.

 

Fucking.

 

Changmin.

 

The city's resident superhero _sweet heart._

 

Yunho lifts his chin proudly and exclaims, “my name’s Jung Yunho!”

 

Changmin cocks a brow and eyes Yunho up and down. “Oh? As in, related to Yang Hyun Jung, _Jung_?”

 

“I’m his son.”

 

Changmin actually looks a tiny bit impressed. “I’d heard his son had followed in his footsteps, but I haven’t heard much else about him. I supposed he was just hiding at home under his dear daddy’s money. No need to work when you’re that loaded, right?”

 

“Mind your own business,” Yunho snaps, digging his fingernails into his palms.

 

Changmin rolls his eyes and puts a burst of pressure on his foot, causing the suspect to squeak. “If I left you to your own business, you’d have a bullet in your chest. Unless you’ve got some ability to stop bullets, you should be thanking me.”

 

Yunho avoids his gaze and grumbles under his breath.

 

Changmin calls up the police on his radio and sits on the back of the suspect, getting comfy as the suspect cries beneath him. “By the way,” Changmin looks up him and down derisively. “What in the _world_ are you wearing? You call that a costume?”

 

Yunho furrows his brow and looks down at his sweater with a big ‘Y’ knitted on the front in green. The rest of his sweater is a mesh between brown and yellow, with splashes of blood. “What’s wrong with it?”

 

Changmin looks at him incredulously. “Are you seriously even asking me that question? Buy a mirror, you’ll figure it out. It’s almost a blessing that it’s stained with blood now.”

 

“I spent two weeks knitting this!”

 

“You… _knitted_ your own superhero sweater?” Changmin laughs so hard that tears bubble in the corners of his eyes. “Oh god, you are a _riot._ ” He looks at his watch then the criminal underneath him and whines. “Look, I really have to run. There’s something I have to do at home, and I’m sure you can supervise him until the cops get here.” He stops and squints his eyes suspiciously at Yunho. “Right?”

 

Yunho scoffs and approaches. “Of _course_ I can. What kind of superhero can’t hold down a criminal?”

 

Changmin makes this twisted face and Yunho can almost feel the sarcasm rolling off it. He ties the suspect with a rope anyway, and pats him on the shoulder.

 

“Be nice for sweater man here.” He disappears with a pop.

 

Yunho grumbles under his breath at the name and takes a seat on the suspect who sobs underneath the weight. “Why doesn’t anyone like my sweaters?”

 

The cops show up ten minutes later, sirens blaring.

 

The officer, who obviously recognizes him from the expression on his face, looks at him and asks with all the incredulity he can muster, “ _You_ did this?”

 

Yunho wants to tell them he did, he really does. Maybe people would finally treat him with an inch of respect if he was able to catch someone for once, instead of wreaking havoc on the city and ending up having to foot the bill for all the damages.

 

“No… it was… Shim Changmin’s arrest.”

 

The officer sighs and nods. “Yes, that sounds far more plausible.”

 

Yunho wants to kick Changmin.

 

 

Yunho goes home and googles Changmin. He prints out a large high quality picture and conjures a heavy slab of cotton and duct tapes it to the wall. He brings out his set of throwing knives that he bought to pursue criminals before he realized he had absolutely no talent and would probably injure himself before he could even let the damned thing leave his hand. He poises himself in front of his imaginary dartboard.

 

Ten points for the forehead.

 

Twenty for the nose.

 

Fifty for his stupid cheekbones.

 

A hundred for the lips, just because he hates Changmin talking _that_ much.

 

He throws three knives. One lodges itself on the floor, the other three meters off the mark, and the last hits Changmin’s ear. Yunho grins, suddenly inspired and feeling like he’s got the hang of this. He lines up another knife in between his thumb and forefinger and closes his left eye. He hurls it forward with as much strength as he possibly can.

 

He misses the picture.

 

He misses the wall.

 

His window cracks and the knife goes hurtling out into the street and he hears a shriek.

 

Yunho’s mouth drops open and he runs to the busted window. “ARE YOU OKAY?”

 

His neighbor who’s sitting on her lawn looks up with wide eyes. She’s reading a book pulled just in front of her face, and the knife is sticking out the front cover.

 

“Um. I’m sorry?” he says, and the young lady across the road starts crying.

 

Yunho closes the curtains.

 

Yunho knits his neighbor a nice sweater with reindeers and Christmas trees on it.

 

He finds it thrown on his doorstep the next morning.

 

 

 

 

The next time Yunho sees Changmin is when he’s out to get some bandages, a superhero’s must for home medical kits.

 

He runs around a corner and bumps into a brick of a man and they both tumble to the floor, and a bunch of vitamin C tablets scatter to the ground. Yunho ends up splayed across the dude below him, fist digging into the man’s stomach and hand mushed in his face. He lifts himself up using the man’s face, and he screams a bit under the push, then Yunho takes his hand away and is about to say sorry when he catches sight of who’s below him.

 

“You owe me two hundred dollars,” is the first thing he can think to say.

 

Changmin splutters and rubs his nose, then his eyes narrow at the voice. _“You.”_

 

Yunho points an accusing finger at the teleporter. “Your face broke my window and it cost me two hundred dollars to repair.”

 

Changmin gives him such a disgusted look that Yunho thinks he might as well have shoved a moldy sock in his face to get the same reaction. “What? As far I remember I’ve never even been _near_ your house. I don’t even know where you live!”

 

“So what?” Yunho says, and he gets back to his feet, hands on his hips. “It’s not like you can’t pay for it. Fork it over you stingy jerk.”

 

Changmin sits up and scoffs. “Just because I can afford it, doesn’t mean I’m going to buy you a new window. If _your_ window broke, obviously it’s _your_ fault.”

 

Yunho picks up his superhero radio that’s fallen to the floor and blows the dust off it before clipping it back on his belt. He opens his mouth to argue but Changmin cuts him off before he can even start.

 

“What’s your special superhero power, anyway?” Changmin asks, clambering up. "Your family liked to keep it on the low, but I might as well ask now I've met you."

 

Yunho rubs the back of his neck and mumbles, the words lost in his mouth. He doesn’t want to admit what he is to Changmin, because even if he’s proud of himself, he doesn’t want this jerk laughing at his expense like _everyone_ does.

 

“I’m sorry? Would you care to speak up? Some of us weren’t gifted with the ability of super hearing you know.”

 

Yunho burns bright red and purses his lips. “I can… I can…”

 

Changmin rolls his eyes. “Can what? Spit it out, Beauty and the Geek starts in fifteen minutes and I _really_ need to get home because Jennifer just—“

 

“I CAN CONJURE COTTON, OKAY?!”

 

Changmin stops and looks at Yunho, mouth agape. “You can… conjure… cotton?”

 

“ _Yes.”_

 

Changmin holds up his hand and coughs once. “Let me get this right. Your superpower is that you’re able to conjured cotton… and you chose to be a superhero…”

 

Yunho nods, defiant. “That’s right.”

 

Changmin guffaws and bites his lip, then bursts out into peals of laughter. He bends over and actually fucking _slaps_ his knee. “YOU CONJURE, HAHAHA, COTTON?”

 

Yunho is horribly offended and holds his hand to his heart. “IT HAS ITS MERITS.”

 

Changmin’s now fallen onto the floor with the force of his laughter, and it’s so loud Yunho thinks he might break an ear drum. “LIKE—LIKE WHAT? OH NO, YOU’LL _COTTON_ THE VILLAINS TO DEATH, HAHAHA I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS. THIS IS THE BEST THING I’VE HEARD ALL YEAR.”

 

Yunho puffs his chest out and gives the vibrating lump on the floor a hard kick. “I would not cotton someone to _death!_ I’m a superhero, I don’t kill!”

 

“OH GOD. OH MY GOD. OH SWEET BABY JESUS IN THE HEAVENS ABOVE. THIS IS JUST GETTING BETTER AND BETTER.” He rolls onto his back, and actual _tears_ are coming from his eyes. “I DON’T EVEN NEED TO GO HOME AND—AND WATCH BEAUTY AND THE GEEK, THIS IS A HUNDRED TIMES BETTER. OH SWEET LORD.”

 

Yunho conjures a ball of cotton and fucking _shoves it down Changmin’s throat._

 

Changmin screams, but it’s muffled, and Yunho feels undeniably smug.

 

He crosses his arms and laughs, “Who’s useless now, HUH?!”

 

Yunho blinks, and Changmin’s behind him, holding him in a choke hold. He’s pulled the cotton from his mouth. “If you ever, _ever_ stick cotton in my mouth again, I’ll flash you up to the fucking liberty statue and hang you from the fucking torch.”

 

“I’d like to see you try!” Yunho says, and really, he shouldn’t have.

 

He _really_ shouldn’t have.

 

Next thing he knows, he’s hanging a hundred meters off the ground with only his leather jacket holding him on one of the torches spikes.

 

This time, Yunho screams.

 

 **“** Look at you, hanging by a _thread._ ” Changmin says from above him.

 

Yunho thinks very angrily that this is _definitely_ not an appropriate time to be making puns.

 

He quickly spikes his fingers out like a claw and the cotton draws out of each finger. He twiddles his fingers and makes himself a temporary hammock to sit on.

 

Changmin’s standing on the torch, and he holds on to the spike and leans closer, looking at Yunho’s fingers in disgust. “Ew, what the fuck? So cotton just comes out of your body? What are the physics behind it? Isn’t that unhealthy?”

 

“MAYBE I WOULD ANSWER YOU IF I WASN’T HANGING FROM THE FUCKING STATUE OF LIBERTY!” Yunho shrieks.

 

Changmin’s eyes widen comically. “Wow, touchy.” He grabs a hold of Yunho’s shoulder and flashes them out to central park.

 

Changmin tenses for a moment when they arrive, and Yunho just puts it down to the stress of having to transport matter and bend the laws of physics, or something complicated like that. He thinks it’s a bit rich that Changmin’s horrified by the prospect of cotton coming from his body when he can fucking manipulate the fabrics of reality.

 

Yunho whirls around and points an accusing finger and Changmin. “YOU!”

 

Changmin leans closer to the finger and puts a hand on his chin, considering.

 

“WHAT IF I FELL? AND DIED?”

 

Changmin shrugs and dips his head to the left to get a better look at Yunho’s finger.

 

“I’d just flash you back up. Whatever.”

 

“YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE A SUPERHERO, NOT A TERRORIZER.” He yanks his finger back and cradles it in his chest.

 

Changmin tuts and leans back, hands on hips. “It wasn’t _that_ bad. Stop complaining.”

 

Yunho’s jaw almost hits the floor.

 

“You are insane. You are _legitimately insane_. And to think I owned your poster when—“ Yunho snaps his mouth shut.

 

“You owned my _poster?_ You… you are seriously just an endless bag of entertainment, you know that? What, do you look up to me?”

 

Yunho sticks his nose in the air. “I _did._ I _was_ a fan until I found out about how much of a dickhead you really were.”

 

Changmin smirks. “Ouch. My poor heart has been shattered. How ever will I recover? ”

 

Yunho’s about to come up with a fantastic retort, he really is, but then their radios go off, signaling a nearby incident.

 

There has been a nearby train jacking, and the suspect has control of the train and won’t hit the brakes. There’s at least a hundred people inside and he’s threatening to explode the thing if he doesn’t get his ransom.

 

Changmin curses and stands, bending his knees, ready to teleport. Yunho leaps at him, not wanting to get left behind, and they both whirl away with a swish and pop.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I truly have... no idea what happened in this chapter. this is crack to the max okay just roll with it.
> 
> Drugs cw.

They surface on the top of the hijacked train racing through the city at breakneck speeds. They both grab the closest thing to them and try their best to hold on.

 

“D-don’t do that you fucking psycho! I misaimed because of you!” Changmin screams, almost losing his balance as Yunho holds on to the top of the train for his dear life. He conjures ropes around both of their wrists and ties them to the train.

 

“I HAVE A PLAN,” Yunho yells, the volume of his voice getting sucked away by the wind.

 

“I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT.”

 

Yunho conjures up ropes long enough to let him stand while still tied to the train, and he wraps one around his waist. Changmin’s looking up at him like he’s lost his mind.

 

“I’LL TELEPORT OUT OF HERE AND LEAVE YOUR ASS TIED TO THE TOP OF THIS TRAIN. I SWEAR I WILL!”

 

Yunho ignores him. He scans the train tracks ahead—he knows this part of town like the back of his hand. He tells Changmin to teleport them to the top of the twin buildings in the distance, and Changmin warps him there happily. They’ve still got cotton wrapped all around them and Changmin lets out a little squeal of frustration.

 

Yunho peers over the edge of the two multistory buildings and starts conjuring a big, loose net. He makes it as dense as he can so the train won’t snap right through, but stretchy enough so it won’t crush everyone inside. Yunho just prays it’ll work out and he won’t explode the train in a horrible accident.

 

The train hoots and slams on the breaks when it sees the net waiting for it.

 

It bounces into the net and gets caught. Yunho lets out a quick sigh of relief.

 

Yunho yells at the very confused looking Changmin to teleport them into the cabin. He does, and Yunho wraps the criminals up in a complicated tie of string. He pulls out his radio and calls the catch in, then he and Changmin break the emergency window and see everyone out of the train.

 

Changmin teleports them both to the streets and he stares at Yunho with wide eyes. “YOU’RE FUCKING INSANE. I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT.”

 

“Well it worked, didn’t it?” Yunho finally notices that Changmin is far paler than he should be, and even if he doesn’t want to he asks if he’s okay.

 

Changmin’s eyes go unfocused. “Didn’t eat… my… oranges.”

 

He faints.

 

Yunho doesn’t catch him.

 

He immediately feels bad about and squats beside him, poking his cheek to try wake him up.

 

He remembers in superhero college that the vice teleporters needed to upkeep their powers was vitamin C. Most teleporters ate oranges or took supplements before their missions, and he remembers when he bumped into Changmin and his vitamin C tablets had splayed all over the floor. He now feels _extra_ bad because not only did he tie Changmin to a train, he also stopped him from taking his medication and thereby making him faint, and he didn’t even _catch_ him.

 

He pokes Changmin a few more times and calls his name, but the younger man doesn’t rouse. Yunho drops his head and sighs, because this _was_ technically his fault, so it’s kind of up to him to fix it. He conjures and hammocks and shoves Changmin in it before wearing it as a backpack. Yunho thinks Changmin can say whatever the fuck he likes about his cotton conjuring abilities, because it’s so ridiculously useful. When Yunho wants to turn on the T.V., all he has to do is conjure a string of cotton and aim for the T.V. remote.

 

He drags Changmin into a cab and the driver looks really concerned about the fact Changmin’s tied up in a hammock, but he says nothing and drives them home in silence. Yunho is glad, because he’s really fucking tired, and he needs to knit some sweaters to replenish his abilities. Yunho thinks it’s a bit unfair that his vice for recovering his abilities means he has to knit sweaters, something so complicated, when Changmin can just shove an orange down his gob and go on his merry way.

 

Yunho fishes for Changmin’s wallet in his pockets when they arrive and pulls out a fat black leather thing. It’s filled to the brim with cash and Yunho starts drooling at the mouth. He rifles through it and counts almost four hundred dollars, more than any person should be carrying in their back pocket.

 

He slips a twenty in his own pocket, because it’s not like Changmin can’t afford it. He’s seen Changmin’s god damn massive mansion that takes up half the freaking city. It’s not like Yunho needs it either it’s just… petty revenge.

 

He pays the driver and leaves a very generous tip. He puts on his Changmin-backpack again and waddles into the house, exhausted from having to carry the teleporter. He dumps Changmin on the floor and drags him the rest of the way to his bedroom, throwing him atop his bed, not bothering to pull on the sheets.

 

He looks at the sleeping man and feels kind of bad about dragging him across the floor, so he places an extra pillow with a frog on it on his chest. Changmin reflexively cuddles it and rolls over into the fetal position, muttering something about spaghetti and macaroni cheese.

 

Yunho doesn’t think it’s cute. He absolutely does not think that this is one of the cutest things he’s ever seen in his life.

 

He doesn’t.

 

He really, really, doesn’t.

 

At all.

 

Yunho turns on his heel and escapes from the room, pouring himself a glass of water and taking a long drink. He’d heard that sometimes people go a bit mad when they’re dehydrated, and he did just drag Changmin’s sorry ass across the city and save a train full of people.

 

He vows to drink eight glasses of water every day to prevent his brain from thinking things that shouldn’t be thought.

 

He distracts himself by pulling an orange out from the back of his poorly stacked fridge. He gives it a sniff and a poke, and it seems fit for human consumption. He fishes through his medicine cabinet, succeeding in dropping almost everything on the floor, and he just kind of scoops it into a pile before finding a bottle of vitamin C tablets. It smells pretty funky when he opens it, and when he pulls out a tablet it’s got something suspicious and brown growing on the orange tablet. He scrapes it off with his fingernail and places it on a plate along with the orange and a knife. He’s sure Changmin is capable of cutting his own fruit.

 

He slides the plate onto the night stand and kicks Changmin about fifteen times before he even wakes up. Changmin cries and groans a lot, mumbling out “fuck off, Jerry.” He shoves his face into his pillow and lets out something Yunho might compare to a growl before sitting up, hair pushed in every direction and lips down turned. He looks at Yunho and his eyes narrow. “Not… Jerry.”

 

“Unfortunately, no.”

 

Changmin blinks a few times and yawns. “Why am I… here? Wherever here is.”

 

“You’re at my house, and you passed out after the whole train thing so I dragged you back here. I made you pay for the cab, by the way, since _you_ were the once that passed out.”

 

Changmin wrinkles his nose and throws the frog pillow to the floor, looking at it with disgust. “I slept in your bed? Gross.”

 

“WOULD YOU HAVE PREFERRED I LEFT YOU PASSED OUT IN THE STREET?” Yunho yells. His bed is very clean, and he feels offended that Changmin would even call it gross.

 

Changmin winces and holds his hands over his ears, curling his legs up. “Stop shouting, I’m in withdrawal.”

 

Yunho huffs. “I know. That’s why I got you the orange and the vitamin C.”

 

He points to the nightstand, and Changmin looks at it suspiciously.

 

“You did something… to help me? Should I be worried?” Changmin actually looks legitimately concerned that Yunho has laced the orange with poison or something and Yunho rolls his eyes.

 

“I’m not having you pass out on my watch again. You eat the orange, you leave, we both go on with our lives happily and never see each other again.”

 

Changmin considers this and rubs his chin. “… I see your point. Okay, give me two minutes to finish the orange and I’ll be on my way.” He picks up the plate and looks at the uncut orange dispassionately. “Don’t people usually like, I don’t know, cut these first for their guests?”

 

He plops the Vitamin C tablet in his mouth and chews it, and he doesn’t throw up or anything so Yunho takes that as a good sign. “Um, trust me, it’s better I didn’t even try.”

 

Changmin grumbles something under his breath that Yunho doesn’t think he wants to hear, and Yunho says, “eat your orange. I’ll be in the living room so just, tell me when you’re ready to go.”

 

Changmin dismisses him with a wave of his hand.

 

Yunho settles on his couch and flicks on the T.V. Next thing he knows, he hears Changmin laughing down the hall way. He doesn’t feel at all good about hearing the teleporter laugh within such close quarters, so he follows the sound down the hall and into his study (that he never uses to actually study, much to his father’s dismay) and finds Changmin standing in the middle of the room, hands on hips, laughing merrily.

 

“What?” Yunho asks suspiciously.

 

Changmin turns to him and laughs some more, doubling over. “You—why do you have a wall full of sweaters and scarves?!”

 

Yunho turns bright red. He spends so much time knitting sweaters and he felt it’d be a waste to throw them out, so he drilled clothing hooks onto the wall and hung up his collection. At this point, it’s just a wall of fur where the concrete is completely out of sight. “IT-IT’S BETTER THAN BEING WASTEFUL.”

 

Changmin laughs again and then wipes a tear from his eye. “Oh man. Oh man you are truly hilarious, you know that?”

 

Yunho grabs Changmin by the arm and pulls him out of his study and into his living room, ready to throw him out the door. “Okay, I think it’s _high time_ that you—“

 

“Hold up, Beauty and the Geek marathons play at your house?!” Changmin interrupts, planting his feet in the ground to get a good look at the T.V. It’s playing an ad for the stupid reality show that Yunho wishes would dissolve into thin air every time he sees it on.

 

Yunho cocks his brow. “You don’t subscribe to Foxtel?” He’s almost _certain_ Changmin can afford it.

 

“Jerry says it’s unhealthy for me and will only,” he makes little quotation marks with his fingers, “ _cater to my addiction._ ”

 

“Jerry?”

 

Changmin makes a grumbling sound. “My butler. I am a grown twenty four year old man, and yet…” He shakes Yunho’s grip off and makes himself at home on Yunho’s couch. “If you don’t mind—“

 

“I do.”

 

“—I’ll just watch one episode then go home. Promise.”

 

Changmin looks at him with sparkly eyes, and Yunho looks to the roof in despair and sighs. Twenty more minutes. He can handle twenty more minutes of the little shit if he keeps his mouth shut and watches an episode and goes. “I can’t do this sober.”

 

Changmin turns back to the T.V. and shouts, “bring me something, too!”

 

Yunho shuffles back to the couch a minute later, two tubes in his hands, and he settles himself down. Changmin holds his hand out and freezes when Yunho puts the tube in his hand.

 

“Um,” he says. “Is that a fucking _bong?_

 

Yunho looks at the bong then up to Changmin. “Um, yes? You asked me to bring you one?” Yunho lights up and takes a long breath, blowing his smoke at Changmin, making the younger boy cough.

 

Changmin gives him this wide eyed look, like he’s trying to tell Yunho he’s a fucking idiot. “I thought you meant a _beer._ You’re a superhero, for fucks sake!” Changmin argues. “You can’t be hitting the bongs all day when you’re trying to save a city!”

 

Yunho takes another hit. “I’m sure you’re trying to save the city by taking up half the fucking suburb with your ‘house’ they keep showing on the news.”

 

“I EARNED THAT!”

 

Yunho feels a bit too chilled to get riled up. “I earned my time to relax. So, want some, or not? If you don’t I’ll take your share.”

 

“Keep it to yourself,” he huffs, crossing his arms and sinking back into the couch, inching the music up.

 

Yunho shrugs. “Whatever floats your boat.”

 

 

One hour later, they’re both high as a kite and Changmin’s demanding that Yunho feed him.

 

“Dude,” Yunho says, eyes itchy and red. “I can’t cook. I almost blew up a pan.”

 

Changmin narrows his eyes and cocks his head to the side. “Pans don’t blow up.”

 

“ _Exactly._ ”

 

Changmin widens his eyes and says, “ _dude._ ”

 

Yunho nods. “ _Dude_.”

 

They stare at each other in wonder for a moment, taking it in.

 

Changmin’s stomach gurgles and breaks the moment. “I want a McChicken burger. And large fries. And nuggets,” Changmin demands.

 

Yunho’s mouth waters. “We’re not exactly in a state to drive, you know.”

 

Changmin holds up his hand and smirks as if he’s a genius who’s just uncovered the master plan. “Did you forget I’m a teleporter.”

 

“That doesn’t really sound safe.”

 

“No—trust me. I did this once when I was drunk and I only ended up like a hundred meters away from where I was meant to go. It’s _fine._ ”

 

Yunho isn’t convinced, but he also really kind of wants a burger. “All right, but if I die just know it’s on you.”

 

“You’re such a _knit-wit_.” Changmin bursts out into laughter like it’s the funniest thing anyone’s ever said in their life.

 

Yunho smacks him on the back of his head. “Damn it, Changmin. This isn’t the time for puns, we have a burger waiting for us.”

 

Changmin turns serious at that, staring at Yunho with determination. “You’re right, surprisingly. Okay, hold on, I’ve got this.” Changmin squeezes his eyes shut and Yunho feels like he’s being pulled through a tube. They pop out on some deserted street with barely a lamp in sight.

 

Changmin scratches his head. “… Huh. Well, good news is, we’re not dead. Bad news, I have no idea where we are.”

 

Yunho wails, “I _knew_ this was a bad idea.”

 

Changmin puts his hands on his hips and looks up and down the street. “I could teleport us again?”

 

Yunho takes probably more steps away then necessary, blurting, “NO! I think we’re good here.”

 

“Chill,” Changmin says, eyes narrowed and red. “Look, I totally know this city like the back of my hand.” He grabs Yunho’s wrist and drags him down a very suspicious alleyway that’s so dark Yunho can’t even see a meter in front of him. “I’m pretty sure if we take two rights at the end of this alleyway we’ll at least make it to KFC.”

 

They make it to the end of the alleyway.

 

It’s closed off.

 

Yunho slumps on the floor and Changmin tumbles after him, still gripped onto Yunho’s wrist. “Forget it! We’re just going to die here, alone! I didn’t even get to say goodbye to my father and it’s all your fault.”

 

Changmin gets on his knees and points an accusing finger at Yunho. “You were the one who bought out the bong, remember?”

 

“And you were the one that agreed to light up after getting so judgmental about it,” Yunho shouts back, red in the face. “Besides, I didn’t even really _want_ a burger. I was just being nice about since you’re my guest.”

 

Changmin rolls his eyes and settles his back against the wall, plopping down on the gravel. “Well _so-rry._ Obviously it’s all my fault since I’m such a nuisance to you, right?”

 

Yunho pauses and searches through the fog in his head for an appropriate way to feel right now. His guts churning and he feels all kinds of guilty now that Changmin’s put himself down like that. It’s not like… well it’s not like he _hates_ Changmin, he just thinks he’s a self-entitled rich prick with an ego the size of the statue of liberty.

 

“Well… I wouldn’t go _that_ far.”

 

Changmin harrumphs and turns away from Yunho, pouting.

 

A good half hour passes, and the two reluctantly shuffle closer to escape the cold, ending up glued to each other’s sides. Changmin is shivering and hunched over, and Yunho feels terrible so he ends up giving Changmin his sweater. Changmin looks at him with these sparkly eyes that make something stir in his stomach, but a second later the spark is gone and Changmin is scowling again. Yunho swallows and tries to clear his mind, to think of anything but the way Changmin looked at him, and how fucking hot Changmin looks wearing his sweater.

 

Yunho scrambles for a question and ends up blurting out, “can I ask you something though, out of curiosity?”

 

“Huh, what?”

 

Yunho scratches his butt and cocks his head to the side. “Why are you a superhero?” he asks. Yunho’s been thinking about it, and it’s not the money because Changmin certainly inherited enough, and whenever he sees him on the T.V when he gets caught on camera, Changmin gets all cagey and embarrassed. Yes, it’s definitely not that, because Changmin just hides in his cave of a home and comes out only to fight crime and go for a drink. He’s arrogant, but not a show off.

 

Changmin considers Yunho for a moment, like he’s deciding whether he should bother divulging the details. Eventually, he sighs and uncrosses his arms.

 

“Remember the attack in ninety five, by the Exo’s?”

 

Yunho remembers very clearly. He was only nine at the time, but the chaos that shook the city lasted for years after the initial attack. People were wary and afraid, and even the superheroes like his dad were looked down upon just for having powers. It took them years and years of do-gooding until the general public were ready to love their heroes again, but some people still despised anyone born with powers.

 

The news was on every single channel and radio station available. Twelve criminals had formed their own organization after being apprehended or teased because of their powers. They wanted to burn the city right to the ground.

 

And they almost did.

 

“At the time, I was in Central Park with my dad when Chanyeol, the firebug, turned up. We were just having lunch, and then all of a sudden everything was on fire.” Changmin licks his lips and sits up taller. He continues on like he’s been dying to tell someone this for years, possessed by the urge to speak. “I got knocked off my chair and blacked out for a few seconds, I think, and when I looked up my dad was gone and I was surrounded by the flames. I was stuck in the middle, and I started screaming out for help and then… you remember Kangta, right? The famous teleporter of the nineties?”

 

Yunho nods. He had his poster taped up on his wall when he was younger, and even met the hero a few times few his father.

 

“He was every kids dream—everyone with powers wanted to grow up and be like Kangta. He flashed over to me and grabbed me by the shoulders, then flashed me out. And well, my dad never came back. I never figured out what happened to him and, well yeah, but I decided then that I wanted to be like Kangta. I wanted to be a hero who could save people, and prevent disasters like that from happening again, I guess. So I trained until I became the best. And, here I am.”

 

Yunho blinks rapidly. He had no idea that the history behind Changmin’s rise to fame had such bitter beginnings. “I’m sorry,” he says, for lack of anything better.

 

Changmin waves his hand dismissively. “Don’t worry about it. It was years ago.”

 

“But—“

 

“I said don’t worry about it.”

 

Changmin looks small and frail, like the breath has been ripped from him with his speech, and Yunho is really worrying about it. “Just, if you ever need anyone to talk to…”

 

Changmin round on him, eyes bright. “I said _drop it._ ”

 

Yunho sits up and faces him, inching closer. “I really think you should talk about it more,” he says, expression earnest and concerned. “I mean, I’m not saying it has to be _me,_ but—“

 

Yunho’s speech is cut off as he’s slammed against the brick wall, words tumbling out along with a gust of breath. Changmin’s face is so close that Yunho’s eyes are crossing, and he suddenly feels really warm inside. “I’m just trying to help,” he whispers, still trying to catch his breath.

 

Changmin growls and comes even closer and Yunho is on _fire._ “And I said I don’t need it. What’s your problem with me in the first place, anyway? You always try act like you’re above me. So what, do I threaten you or something ‘cause I’m a big time star and you’re a nobody? You pissed off ‘cause your daddy doesn’t think you’re good enough to show off and keeps your existence a secret?”

 

Yunho presses his chest up and they’re touching pretty much everywhere. Yunho growls, “Blow me.”

 

So Changmin does. His hands undo his pants at record breaking speeds and before Yunho can really get a good grasp on what’s happening, Changmin’s got a mouthful of his cock and is sinking down so low it’s making Yunho moan like a horny teenager.

 

Yunho is, admittedly, very confused about the turn of events, but he’s not one to turn down a blowjob. It probably has something to do with the fact they’re both still high as hell and will regret it as soon as they come back to their senses, but for now while Changmin has his lips wrapped around his cock, he’s not going to peep a complaint.

 

Changmin sucks on the head and has Yunho coming with a loud groan. It’s fucking filthy getting sucked off in some random alleyway, and Yunho loves it. Changmin swallows and Yunho’s dick twitches. He’s still so fucking horny, and he’s going to go crazy.

 

“You need practice. You suck, in a bad way.”

 

Changmin pops up looking offended. “Says the guy who came too fast _._ ”

 

Yunho folds his arms over his chest and says, “well I’m not convinced.”

 

Before he can think of another insult to rile him up for kicks, Changmin’s mouth is on his dick and sucking him until he’s hard again and coming for the second time that night.

 

Changmin pops up again, breathing heavily, and asks, “how about that one?”

 

Yunho gives a weak thumbs up. “You’re learning.”


End file.
